In your journey of raising a child with special needs have you felt like days are just whizzing past you while you are just standing still in time …going through the motions, helpless sometimes, frustrated most of the time, angry all the time. Do I hear..yeah that sounds a little like me.
A empty rhetoric question occupies the mind all the time “Why me?” The question has never been answered. And I have tried everything. Putting blame on fate, bad karma, my spouse, my parents( and in-laws) genes , a generation curse, evil eyes , tantra , indecision to have children, impure water, plastics, work stress and a thousand other inconsequential reason. Just then it hit me. What happens if I find an answer to this? Will it end? Will labeling the blame on a person, act or deed remove my misery? No. I’m looking for a reason not for solution . I’m still the victim not in charge , wallowing in self pity. I needed to move on from the victim mindset.
This repeating question “Why me?”is proof enough that we are all still in denial mode. Not ready to accept what has happened. Somehow hoping that it is all a part of some long extended nightmare which might disappear the moment the sunlight shines again. Not ready to Take charge of the situation and dealing with it to make it better. Not ready to be happy
The question worth asking isn’t “why me?” but “What have I done to change it?” And No I am not talking about the various trips to the doctors , the countless special Doctor sessions (that help minute progress! and I feel they fleece you everytime- but only the ones with bad intentions) . Neither the temples you visited or fasts kept nor the babas or poojas and astrologers or alternative therapies tried. That hasn’t changed a thing for you. Has it?
What have you done to change your attitude to look at your situation as one that can be made better…for you, for your child for your spouse and for all the uncomfortable relatives around you. Because our attitude towards our “special situation” is the one affecting the Single most important thing in your life who is not at fault at all. Your child. He is probably now beginning to feel it’s his fault and imagine living a life with that burden.
How have we attempted to change our viewpoint and see if we can learn something from this life test… be a better, more stronger person, come out as a fighter …a winner perhaps, a happier individual who kept the blame game aside and decided to transform himself and bring a smile back into the lives we touch everyday. In My program for parents of children with special needs, we work together on changing our attitude first and then bring back the real happiness we all deserved to have.
You know I do have an answer to your question “Why me”. It is because God could trust no one else to take care of that child as good as you. HE didn’t see anyone around who could be as strong willed , vulnerable yet determined to be in charge of that child.HE trusted your reserves of strength of character and he gave you immense emotional power to deal with it. You just don’t know it yet and also you don’t trust me…Yet.
Look around you. Who around you seems to fit the description? Who could have done it as well as you? your sister, your cousin, any friend, Not even your mother. No one.Its time we remove the label over your kid as a special child and rather put it on ourselves. It is time to acknowledge that Yes! i am Special. The chosen one who is going to turn this around and make it a life worth living not comparing to someone else glamorous face book instagram life but a life worth being an inspiration to everyone around us. Good luck in this journey.
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Hi , Welcome to Yes! i am Special, India's 1st dedicated blog to help "Parents" of Children with Special Needs. I'm Rohan, an experienced Pharma Professional and father to God's most special Kid - Aaron. He has an undiagnosed muscular condition that till date hasn't allowed him to sit walk or talk. He inspired me to start this blog so that I can help other Parents in need of guidance in their Journey to manage their special children. In this blog I write to help parents improve their relationships that has been impacted while taking care of their child with special needs. I help them rebuild their social circle, overcome their fears and challenges in daily life and in the process bring some encouragement and fun back in their lives. You can read more about me at the Home page - About us SectionRead more about me!